Enneagram Insights Series - Why Personality Testing Matters

I've always admired people who seem to unequivocally know who they are, what they want and how to be immune to the judgments of others. This isn't most of us, is it? Most people have blindspots in their personalities. For life to function well, there must be a myriad of gifts, perspectives, motivations and personality types, but appreciating this diversity is not easy!

Take social media, as an example of this personality quagmire. We see epic digital battles over dresses, politics, celebrities - some want us to just get along, some don't want to be involved at all, some see issues as black and white, some see grey, some see purple. Who's wrong? Who's right? Who cares? It can be maddening to navigate these waters!

I am a personality testing and self-awareness enthusiast. You can't have your feet firmly planted in life without understanding what makes you (and others) unique. If you've interviewed for a corporate job, you probably took some sort of generic test to see if you were right for the role. In retrospect, my results were normally wrong, because I unconsciously put on work "masks" to project what I was "supposed" to be. I spent years thinking and acting like someone I wasn't, which leads to an imbalance of mind, soul, and body. I unknowingly did things I didn't really want to do, nurtured relationships with people who drained me, and fell prey to the illegitimate criticism of others.

A life coach and friend introduced me to The Enneagram, which is a personality insight tool. It has spiritual roots and can be tricky to navigate at first without some help, but it is dynamic and practical. I'm a type seven, which is the experiential, free spirited, non-judgmental, compulsive type (some associated types - hippie, playboy, traveler, entertainer). Sevens can make a huge impact on the world with their passion, independent thinking and risk taking. However, other types can view sevens as flaky, non-committal and lacking in substance. Conversely, I can view aggressive, competitive, no-nonsense people as being self-absorbed, rude and obtuse. You see the dilemma! Of course, every person has room for improvement, but if we don't recognize our own gifting/bias, we can kill the spark of what makes other people unique, optimized and powerful.

The Enneagram is not binary (either/or) like Myers Briggs. It accommodates for periods in life of stress and health. For each type, there is an option for a sub-type (known as a "wing") to add even more dimension and insight.

Even if you explored personality testing in the past, check out the Enneagram. My favorite website is enneagraminstitute.com, which has free short tests and thorough type descriptions. My favorite book is "Enneagram in Life and Work" by Helen Palmer, but do some general context research online first for this book to be even more helpful. I encourage you to start, or continue, the wonderful journey of learning to be our truest selves.

4 Ways Understanding Personality Types Can Benefit You

Every one of my friends loves personality testing. Every. Single. One. My best friend is a certified Myers Briggs administrator. I’ve read 2 books this week about The Enneagram alone. Letters, numbers, categories, analyzing, matchmaking, occupation/spiritual calling-finding fill my Sunday brunch conversations. As an ethical opportunist (self-characterization), I’m always looking to understand people more deeply and assimilate that information in a practical way. Some helpful uses of personality analysis:

To get ahead in business. An astute coworker said she keeps her personality nuances private, because savvy climbers in a competitive corporate environment can use your weaknesses against you. I never considered this before, but she is right. I choose to look for personality types in the office, so I can adjust my communication style and work approach to be more effective. If a person is a data-driven decision maker, I present facts. If a person is type A and anxious, I give clear timeline expectations and frequent follow-up. If a person is a sensitive feeler, I’m empathetic and look for healthy compromise.

To find out if you are my soul mate. You probably most definitely are my soul mate, because I fall in love with everyone (I’m an ENFP, after all). It is incredibly efficient to look for objective personality traits that fundamentally don’t work with mine and vice versa (particularly while wading through online dating profiles, ahem). I typically know by the second day of texting what the person’s Myers Briggs type is (or my best guess). To work out family issues. I have fun at holidays testing my family members for personality types and reading Myers Briggs and Enneagram descriptions. It’s a way of saying, “Let’s all remember we are VERY different (winky smiley face).” Through personality awareness, we can learn to accept these differences as a reality of functioning in a beautifully diverse world and not as a personal slight.

To find out who’s a friend and who’s…um….better as an acquaintance. I’m learning who is “safe” to share my thoughts and feelings with and who drives me up the emotional wall. The result of this personality study has given me healthy boundaries. Some of my personality peeves are: Demanding too much of my time and attention (I’m independent). Being too data-driven to read the grey between the lines (I’m intuitive). Forcefully sharing your opinion without understanding that I’m a processor and will get there on my own, eventually (I’m a messy thinker). You get the idea. It takes all kinds to make the world go round, but not “all kinds” are my or your bestie.

Personality tests and our perception of them are flawed, but their positive impact is real, and even fun. Some people understandably writhe at being put in an identity box and seemingly judged this way. The best intent is not to mechanically define a person, but to appreciate their strengths and understand their weaknesses, as well as our own.